I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a business owner.
I feel like I'm a bad wife because I don't get to see my husband that often. He's either working, at school, or sleeping. We haven't had a meal together in almost a week, and we haven't been able to play our nightly game of Phase 10 in almost 2... so much for that.
I fee like I'm a bad mom because I forgot to give my girls their notes for girl scouts so they could stay over. I dropped them off after the kids were already at school - it's every week, why do I have to write a note every single week (I know why, I'm just venting).
I feel like I'm a bad business owner because I'm not a good sales person, or an administrator. I'm pretty good at doing the job, but closing the deal and getting the payment is tough for me...
I just need things to be uneventful for a few days... it seems that every little thing is starting to build up, I can feel the crash coming...
I've had people actually tell me they were praying for me not to get a job that I'd interviewed for because they don't want us to move. OK, so you'd rather I be stressed out and constantly on the go and working 70 hours a week, just so I don't move? (It's called Facebook, people, we can still talk to each other.)
I love my life, I just wish a few things would change a bit.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and change the minor details that have changed our lives so dramatically... Sometimes I wish that I really did have someone in my corner, backing us up and supporting us, helping us through all the difficult decisions we've had to make.
I've been praying for someone to take that step, to be the mentors that I need in family and in business. I know people have seen me crying and praying at church. I've had people tell me that I've been on their hearts. But no one has actually offered me that guidance that I'm so desperate for. I don't know who to ask.
So I pray. Lord, I ask you again: whoever it is that is meant to impact me, let them know I'm here and I'm ready.
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